The phrases “differently abled,” “specially-abled,” and “special needs” when used in conversation with me, are deeply frustrating. These euphemisms are often well-intended, but they feel patronizing and disrespectful to the person they describe.
People with disabilities deserve the dignity of being addressed in a way that reflects their own identity and experiences. One of the best ways to foster respectful and inclusive communication is by simply asking, “What language do you prefer?” Taking this small step ensures you’re honoring the person’s autonomy and preferred way of being addressed,
Equally important is actively listening to the language someone uses to describe themselves. If they say they’re autistic, for example, follow their lead. There’s no need to use different language when the person you’re communicating with has integrated “autistic” into their identity. Trying to find alternative terms can sometimes signal discomfort with their identity, not respect. Respecting someone’s language preferences isn’t just about words—it’s about recognizing their personhood and the power of their self-identification. Let’s do better by listening first and speaking second.
Alt: a pretty lady looking with a side-eye focus with a written caption: If you call me wheelchair bound, differently able, or specially abled after I’ve asked you to use different language, you deserve all the side-eye I am sending your way.